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Monday, April 8, 2013

Bonding with Family Members on the Autism Spectrum


Not all parents are bonded to their children with disabilities.  I've always tried to understand why.  I have always been exceptionally bonded to my children.  But, when the bond is broken, for whatever reason, it really hurts. 

Some parents can not accept or cope with the disability of their children.  It is such a drain on one's life.  The government rules and restrictions often make it very difficult for the natural parent to get enough help.  This is a form of punishment on a parent, so one can give up. 

Many disabled people, who are placed, do not have family visits, or have negligible visits.  I think some parents need to cut off the tie in order for their lives to go on.  Everyone has different levels of emotional tolerance.

In my case, I take my disabled son home several months out of the year.  He needs total care, so it is hard, especially when there are so many behavioral issues.  But, he craves to be with his family and I have a tight bond with him, almost on an ESP (Extrasensory Perception) level.

I do know that these disabled people, no matter how severe they are, deep down they want their family.  I've seen some Disabled Clients call out for family members in times of medical emergencies, but, no family members were at their bedside.  I felt so bad for them.  You wish you could comfort them, but, no one can replace a parent or family member. 

Severe Autism is one of the worst disabilities because it often comes with Seizures, lack of Speech and Communication, and Severe Behavior problems.  No one seems to have the time or patience for these poor people who are often very intelligent and very aware of their problem, but can not cope themselves.  Often there is a sense of fear about them, which can cause the ritualistic behavior as a coping mechanism. 

It is not an easy life for the family and when things do not go right, it can be a big emotional blow that can be devastating.  It takes a long time to heal, but with people on the Autistic Spectrum, there can be many devastating events.

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